The quote in the above image is from the book Everyday
Drinking: The Distilled Kingsley Amis, by Kingsley Amis. The guy in the
pic is from some TV show I’ve never watched.
In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, “I love Scotch! I love Scotch! Scotchy Scotch
Scotch! Here it goes down. Down into my belly! Mmm, mmm, mmm!”
I love everything about Scotch; the taste, the aroma, the
way it looks, how it feels in your mouth, and the sensuous way it slides down
your glass. Scotch is magical, mystical, mysterious, mythical, and magnificent.
Alliteration FTW!
I started drinking Scotch in early 2017. I couldn’t stand
the stuff before that. Stars aligned and I went to a tasting dinner at a local
BBQ place (Hayden Block in
Calgary – check it out, it’s excellent) and I was hooked! I went out the next
day an bought my first bottle (Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban).
I was also introduced to Ardbeg (an Islay distillery known
for peated whiskies). Suffice it to say that peated whisky is an acquired taste
that I hadn’t acquired at the time. Now? Love me some peated whisky!
Enjoying Scotch is about sharing & community, as much as
it is about the whisky. I’ve made some dear friends through our shared love of
Scotch. They are a kind, smart, caring, generous group of people. Volunteering
time & donating money to worthwhile causes is the norm, not the exception.
Supporting each other in crises is nothing unusual. Laughing our asses off is common,
frequently at each other’s expense.
One of the clubs I belong to holds several tasting events
each year. Our annual Christmas event is hugely popular and always sold out.
That event is when we hold our silent auction. Members donate items to be
auctioned off for charity. These aren’t cheap trinkets or junk from around the
house. There is some significant money being spent on this stuff and much money
is raised. After several samples of high ABV% whisky, the auction can get
competitive and fiscal responsibility is a worry for after the hangover.
One of my favourite independent bottlers is the Scotch Malt
Whisky Society. In addition to bottling some seriously good single cask
whiskies, the Canadian branch, of which I’m
a member, releases a charity bottle every calendar quarter; it’s their Giving
Spirit bottle. A bottle and a charity are selected, all profits from sales
of the selected bottle are donated to the selected charity (no time limit – as
long as there are bottles available, the charity gets the money).
Get togethers at each others’ homes happen. Sometime there’s
a reason (e.g., birthday, F1 race, Montreal Canadiens game). Sometimes there’s
no reason, other times the whisky is the reason. Let me explain …
We have “heels” parties. This does not mean we show up in
platforms or stilettos, though what goes on later behind closed doors is no
concern of mine. No, “heel” in this case refers to a bottle that is not yet empty.
The idea is that we gather at someone’s home, and we bring heels of whiskies
that we think others will enjoy. This is not an opportunity to get rid of that
half bottle of Johhny Walker Red (no offense intended) that’s been in your
cupboard for years. This is s group of whisky connoisseurs that knows good
whisky (if you like it, it’s good). There is something very gratifying
about sharing a whisky you really enjoy with others who you think will also enjoy
it. That last bit applies to pretty much anything you can eat, drink, listen
to, watch, etc. I.e., sharing stuff you dig with others is a joy. Do it as
often as you can!
Even nasty whisky can be a source of bonding and amusement. One
of the nastiest whiskies I’ve ever tasted was an independently bottled 17yr old
Islay (pronounced eye-lah, a whisky region in Scotland) single cask whisky. The
bottler and the distillery are both highly regarded, but sometimes things go
awry. Horribly awry.
Imagine something that tastes like tar, freshly squeezed
pickled herring, used wooden matches, and industrial disinfectant. This whisky
tasted worse. If that description upsets you, too bad; you didn’t have to taste
it, I did.
The response to the whisky was immediate, violent, and
almost universal. By violent I mean gagging & retching sounds from almost
all participants. For all the wrong reasons, it was memorable. We talk &
laugh about that whisky even today, though we tasted it more than three years
ago. The kindest comment about the whisky was, “It wasn’t that bad.” Uh,
yeah, it fucking was.
The, arguably, most important aspect of whisky is how it
tastes. I’m not just referring to peated vs unpeated or smoky vs not smoky. Sweet,
salty, bitter (no bueno), sour, and your Mommy, uh, umami, are all easy to pick
out, even for whisky novices. With practice (drinking lots of whisky) most
people can pick out actual flavours such as chocolate, vanilla, caramel, apple,
bacon, ... etc. The variety of flavours & aromas to be found in Scotch is remarkable.
Even someone with a fairly average palate (me) can pick out
a surprising number of flavours, provided you’ve tasted the thing previously. If
you’ve never had Ovaltine you’re not going to go all “Hey! This tastes like
Ovaltine.” Ovaltine is gross. I’m pretty sure my grandmother made me drink it
as a punishment for some imagined childhood transgression.
Scotch is mysterious and magical. Sure, there’s all the
science-y stuff that goes into its production. There’s all the blending of
barrels to make sure that every batch of 10yr old Glen Whatever looks, smells,
and tastes the same (not inherently a bad thing). But that’s not what I love
about Scotch. I love the magic and mystery of why new make (the raw spirit,
freshly distilled) can be chucked into two different but similar barrels,
stored in the same warehouse for the same amount of time, and still smell &
taste so different. That’s the beauty of single cask whiskies; they’re left to
magically, mysteriously, magnificently develop without having the mystique
scienced out of them. There’s also the experience of having been able to enjoy &
share something rare and unique.
Single cask whiskies are, by definition, rare. A cask can
only fill a limited number of bottles. Once they’re gone, that’s it, that’s
all. FOMO! Don’t worry, there will always be more single cask whiskies to try.
Being able to sample single cask whiskies and share them with people you care
about? Love it. I’ll never give it up.
This could turn into a long-ass piece if I’m not careful, so
I’m gonna wrap up.
- What’s a “good” whisky? – if you enjoy it, it’s
good. If you enjoy it with people you care about, it’s better.
- What’s the right way to drink whisky? – It’s
your whisky; drink it how you like it.
- If you’re trying a new whisky, try at least one
sip neat. Add ice, water, whatever if you don’t like it neat.
- There’s a whisky for everyone. – No, there
isn’t. Some people will never like it and that’s fine. In fact, some people
don’t drink any alcohol. That’s fine too.
- “Smooth” is not a flavour.
- Whisky made from barley that was smoked over dried sheepshit is not as bad as it sounds.
- If there are craft distilleries near you, go
check ‘em out. Some are producing really cool stuff here in Alberta. There’s
also some panther piss, as my Mum would call it in her Austrian accent, being
produced. Avoid it.
- “Whisky” or “Whiskey”? – nobody really gives a
shit.
- Don’t drink and drive!
- I should have been drinking whisky as I wrote
this.
Be great today, be better tomorrow!
Cheers! Or should I say Slàinte mhath!
You can connect with me on Bluesky: @chriswalker1964.bsky.social
