“You can’t say that! That’s a bad word!”
I’ve heard that from my youngest more than once, usually
while driving and forgetting he was in the car with me. He learned some
colourful language that his mother (my former spouse) would not be too happy
about.
Look, the fact is that I really can’t think of too many
words that are inherently bad. Those that I can think of have to do with race,
sexuality, gender identity, and developmental abilities. To be honest, I can’t
think of a single way to use one of those words in a positive way.
With certain exceptions, words aren’t bad; intentions are. I
can express joy, love, sympathy, empathy, kindness, and happiness using all
sorts of expletives. You probably can too. I can also express all kinds of
nastiness and negativity without a single curse word.
That’s the lesson I’ve taught the boy, and he’s absorbed it.
He swears when he stays with me. Not as much as I do, but it’s not not-at-all.
I do have one rule, though; if he doesn’t know the meaning of the word, he’s
not allowed to use it. He follows the rule. And no, I do not teach him new
swear words. I will correct his usage, if necessary, usually after I stop
laughing. There are certain swear words that even if he knew what they meant I
would not let him use, mostly because they’re a bit too advanced for him.
As far as I know he doesn’t swear in front of his mother,
and that’s a good thing. He can get that stuff out of his system when he’s with
me.
I have way more important things to worry about with him
than language, and that’s what I focus my energy on. I want him to learn about
kindness, acceptance, and forgiveness way more than whether or not he lets the
occasional curse word slip.
He’s kinda funny. With most expletives he says the whole
word. With the f-word he leaves the “ck” bit off. It’s not from anything I said
to him. He did use one of the off-limit words while playing a video game the
last time he was here. We had a conversation about why the word was bad, and I
haven’t heard him use it since.
What do you think? What words are inherently bad to you?
Does swearing bother you if it’s kids launching the expletives? Do you allow
it, with limits?
Be great today, be better tomorrow!
Cheers!
You can connect with me on Bluesky: @chriswalker1964.bsky.social
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